Today, I was reading a few back issues of her daily blog, and noted with interest how a blog entry that was rather long and rambled at great length her consternation with the Mormon church and Latter-Day-Saints religion, and how her ads by google on the same page didn’t hold the same opinion.

So I double-click on Elizabeth’s screen name on my gaim window, and start typing:

(16:49:55) ian: i find it especially hilarious that on a blog entry where she rags on the mormons and their church and their beliefs and how screwed up in the head she thinks they are, that the “ads by goooooogle” have the following ads:
“meet mormon singles – join for free, 1000′s of pictures & videos of Beautiful momron singls”
“Found of Mormon Church – Met tens of thousands of LDS/Mormon Singles for Love”
“LDS Singles Community – Mingle with 1000′s of LDS singles everday. Photos, Chat, and more”
“Book of Mormon Land Tours – Visit proposed Book of Mormon lands. Compare prices. Expert LDS guides” …
(16:50:22) ian: i mean, i know from experience that you can’t really control what google gives you, but it adds an interesting twist on things
(16:51:55) elizabeth: im sure she appreciates the humor
(16:52:43) elizabeth: HAAAAAAA
(16:52:49) elizabeth: “Date Sexy LDS singles in your city”
(16:53:06) elizabeth: if i was on a lab computer i would so click on that ad!

Now, I know we’ve been married nearly a whole month, but should I worry that my wife wants to check out sexy LDS singles in our city?

(editor’s note: Elizabeth and I don’t hold the same personal opinions about LDS’ers and Mormons that Heather from dooce.com does. I especially enjoy hearing other faith viewpoints and backgrounds and cultural things, although I remain very steadfast in my own beliefs and opinions on God and Christianity)

So, in search of some way to guage my geekiness, I actually found a link while searching for “date a geek” (with quotes) to a “polygeek test” which you can view here. My results: I’m only 50% geek:

You are 50% geek
You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator.

Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend.

You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You’ll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines!

Geek [to You]: I’m givin’ her all she’s got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals!

You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Well, yesterday on the way to work I got through three 30+ minute lessons in Spanish and learned how to say things like “I only understand a little bit of Spanish” and “I’m from Chicago.” On the way home I got through two French lessons, which I breezed through.

On the way to work today I listened to lesson 3 of the Spanish lessons again to remind myself that I’m from Chicago, and lesson 4 was slightly more complex (I learned I’m really from Philadelphia), and for some reason my download of chapter 5 either got corrupted or went missing, ’cause it jumped straight into lesson 6, where I figured out that these “learn Spanish” lessons are geared towards tourists: thanks to chapter 6, I now know how to ask directions to my hotel or restaurant (but not how to interpret the directions given), and say “I have a lot of dollars and pesos” … something which I’m sure will come in handy should I ever have the desire to get myself mugged or opportunity to pay a ransom for a kidnapping while visiting south of the border.

I looked at an “equivalents” page found at http://www.linuxrsp.ru/win-lin-soft/table-eng.html and noticed under the ‘other’ listing that Bill Gates had written a book called “Road Ahead” and Linus Torvalds wrote a book called “Just for Fun”.

When Mr. Gates first released his book, I picked up a copy – I was part of a book club and don’t think it cost me very much. I’d read his many speeches at the time claiming that NT was the way of the future.

After flipping through the book and drifting off to sleep more than once, I decided to see what was on the accompanying CD. I was running Windows 2000 at the time, based on NT technology.

“autorun” kicked in, and the CD spun … and quickly aborted stating that the software wouldn’t run on my version of Windows.

Oh the irony: a book and CD about how NT’s technology is the “road ahead”, yet the software on the CD wouldn’t run in Windows 2000, based on NT.

As for me, I like #11 – Elizabeth has learned a little bit of programming ;o) And yes, I’ve done #3 …

Reply to: anon-66795671@craigslist.org
Date: Sun Apr 03 21:30:08 2005

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are… plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Okay true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such… but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who ‘have more options’. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra… all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, meh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) They frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his ‘groove’ on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models… They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo…”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind…”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff, back that a– up here and let me get some grub on…” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code… a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce…

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps…

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a crap about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “Damn baby you got a nice butt!!!” Believe me.

Alistair Begg has a radio show on KKLA 99.5 at 8am Mon-Fri that I try to listen to. He’s Scottish, has a great sense of humour, and has great Biblical teaching.

This morning he was speaking on the principle of being ‘ready’ when Jesus comes back, and was emphasizing the point that we have no idea when it’ll happen.

In the middle of his explanation/sermon, he told a story of a couple in London England who always parked their car in front of their house every single day. One day they realized their car had been stolen, but was back in place a few days later, without damage, and a letter from the thief apologizing for the event and inconvenience, and included a pair of tickets to a local theater event as an kind gesture.

A few nights later, while they were at the theater, you guessed it, the thief returned and burgled their house …

For some dry reason, I found this story absolutely hysterical. Alistair’s point was that if you KNOW a thief is coming to break into your house, you can be ready and take precautions … but these clueless people were gullible and suckered by a very clever thief.