Seriously, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Having spoken to my mom Tuesday night about my dad’s pending heart surgery (he recently had a heart attack), when the phone rings at odd hours, the panic associated with wondering if it’s your family calling to say something horrible has happened will make you jump out of bed and race to a phone faster than anything. Provided you love your dad as much as I love mine, of course.
On a typical day, I’d usually get out of bed about 7:30 as Elizabeth leaves for work, get cleaned up and have some breakfast, and start my day between 8am and 9am.
So when the phone rang at 6:52am Wednesday morning, I flew into the office to grab the phone in a hurry.
Him: “Hi, this is (unintelligible) calling, can I speak with ‘Eye-Ann’ Douglas?”
Me: “This is Ian (correcting his pronunciation), who is this?”
Him: “I’m calling about a position for a web developer … ”
(I interrupt him) Me: “Where is your office located?”
Him: “(somewhere), Texas”
Me: “Do you realize you’re calling California right now? It’s not even 7am here…”
Him: “Oh. Do you want to hear about the job?”
“Oh.” With the enthusiasm of “Oh, thanks for clearing that up” or “Oh, I forgot to get the mail out of the mailbox today” or “Oh, gee, look, the sun is shining.”
So I hung up.
He called back twice more later in the day to tell me about the job which was based in Manhattan, New York, and after two months it would move to New Jersey.
You woke me up to offer me a job in Jersey? Are you on crack?!